Sunday, 23rd
Week - A
Summary:
This particular portion of Matthew (18:15-18) gives us a
whole scheme of action for the mending of broken relationships within our
"family of God" called the Christian fellowship.
1. Put Your Complaint into Words
2. Tell the Person about It in Person
3. Counsel with Other Wise Christians.
4. Make Use of the Christian Fellowship.
5. Never Give up Trying.
Anecdote 1: I
must forgive: Sister Helen Prejean,
in her book Dead Man Walking, tells
the real story of Lloyd LeBlanc, a Roman Catholic layman, whose son was
murdered. When he arrived in the cane field with the sheriff’s deputies to
identify his son David’s body, LeBlanc immediately knelt by his boy’s body and
prayed the Lord’s Prayer. When he came to the words: "Forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us," he realized the
depth of the commitment he was making. "Whoever did this, I must forgive
them, I resolved," he later told Sr. Prejean. LeBlanc confessed that it
had been difficult not to be overcome by the bitterness and feelings of revenge
that welled up from time to time, especially on David’s birthday. But for the
rest of his life, forgiveness was prayed for and struggled for and won. He went
to the execution of the culprit Patrick Sonnier, not for revenge but hoping for
an apology. Before sitting in the electric chair Patrick Sonnier, the murderer
said, "Mr. Le Blanc, I want to ask your forgiveness for what I did,"
and Lloyd LeBlanc nodded his head, signaling forgiveness he had already given.
Today’s gospel reminds us and challenges us to continue on the path to
forgiveness and reconciliation.
Anecdote 2:
“There are no fish under the ice." A drunk decides to go ice fishing; so he gathers his gear and goes
walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of
the ice and begins to saw a hole. All of sudden, a loud booming voice comes out
of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice." The drunk looks
around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks.
"As I said before, there are no fish under the ice." The drunk looks
all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and
tries one more time to finish. Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice
interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. This is not a lake and
there are no fish!" The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared; so he
asks the voice, "How do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to
warn me?" "No," the voice replied. "I am the manager of this
ice hockey rink." Today’s readings are about correcting our brothers and
sisters with loving concern for the temporal and spiritual welfare of the
community.
Introduction
The common theme of
today’s readings is that our membership in the Church means we belong to a
community of brothers and sisters in Christ. We are, therefore, the “keepers”
of our brothers and sisters, for each one of us is important to all others in
our faith community. That is why we have to be meaningfully present to, and
take responsibility for, other people. Inhuman behavior against defenseless
people, like child abuse, elder abuse or spouse abuse is something about which
we need to be really concerned, to the point of taking appropriate action to
protect the victims. This individual responsibility in a Christian society
includes, as today’s readings remind us, our responsibility for each other.
Perhaps the most painful obligations of watchful love are fraternal correction
and generosity in forgiving and forgetting injuries. In the first reading, God
tells Ezekiel that he is a "watchman for the house of
Exegesis:
Matthew expands a
saying of Jesus originally concerned primarily with forgiveness (compare the
shorter version in Luke 17:3-4) into a four-step procedure for disciplining
members in the new eschatological community of the church. Long ago the great
Anglican priest and poet John Donne reminded us that, “no man is an island,
entire unto himself.” In today’s gospel, Jesus instructs his disciples about
relationships among members of the church because through baptism we assume a
serious responsibility for our fellow-believers. Suppose a son or daughter,
friend or acquaintance, relative, neighbor, even parent or teacher, does
“something wrong,” whether the sin is of commission or omission. By outlining a
four-step process of confrontation, negotiation, adjudication and
excommunication, Jesus tells us how to mend a broken relationship within the
Christian fellowship.
1)
Confrontation: The worst thing that
we can do about a wrong done to us is to brood about it. Brooding can poison
our whole mind and life, until we can think of nothing else but our sense of
personal injury. We mustn’t gossip either. Hence the first step proposed by
Jesus to the one who has been wronged is that he should go to meet the offender
in person, and point out lovingly, but in all seriousness, the harm he has
done. This first stage is designed to let the two people concerned solve the
issue between them. If it works out at that level, that is the ideal situation.
"You have won back your brother."
2) Negotiation: Suppose the first step does not resolve the situation and
the person refuses to admit wrong, continuing in a behavior bad for him or her
as well as others. This creates a problem, for example, among young persons
where a friend steals or shoplifts, uses drugs or drinks excessively, hangs
around with a bad crowd, plans to run away, contemplates suicide or abortion,
or just "goofs off" in school. Here the second step is to take one or
two other members of the church along with the wronged person to speak to the
wrongdoer and to act as confirming witnesses. The taking of the witnesses is
not meant to be a way of proving to a man that he has committed an offence. It
is meant to assist the process of reconciliation by emphasizing and explaining
calmly the gravity of the situation. Nowadays that means involving a qualified
third party - counselor, teacher, priest or physician. The Rabbis had a wise
saying, "Judge not alone, for none may judge alone except God."
3)
Adjudication: If the negotiation step
does not resolve the situation either, the third step is to have the whole church
or community of believers confront the wrongdoer. The case is brought to the
Christian fellowship because troubles are never amicably settled by going to a
civil court of law. Further, the Church provides an atmosphere of Christian
prayer, Christian love and Christian fellowship in which personal relationships
may be righted in the light of love and of the Gospel. Finally, in matters of
honor and shame, the community is the final arbiter, for the community as a
whole suffers from the wrong.
4) Excommunication: If the offender chooses to disregard the believing
community's judgment, the consequence is “excommunication.” This means that if
none of the three steps has brought a resolution of the situation, then the
wrongdoer should be treated like "a Gentile or a tax collector." That
is, the wrongdoer should be put out of the church with the hope that temporary
alienation alone may bring the erring person to repentance and change. The
sinner is expelled because every obvious case of unrepented sin denies the
Gospel's power and the Church's mission of reconciling sinners to God and to
the community. But the excommunication should be carried out with genuine grief
(1 Cor 5:2), not vindictive glee over another's "fall" or
self-righteous pride.
Many scripture scholars
think that Jesus would not have suggested this step, and that it is a personal
addition by Mathew. They wonder how this type of expulsion can be squared with
Jesus' openness to sinners, including corrupt tax collectors and prostitutes,
or with the story of the Prodigal Son. But let us remember that Jesus'
reception of these people depended on their change of heart and the abandonment
of their sinful ways, for only these responses enabled them to be reconciled
with God and the community. Jesus concludes the action plan stating that all
his disciples have authority to “bind or loose,” that is, to settle conflicts
and legal cases between community members. In addition, Jesus gives the
assurance that when the Church community gathers in Jesus' name, in the spirit
of prayer, to hear a legal case, Jesus is there to guide and ratify the
procedure.
Messages
1) You are your brother’s/sister’s keeper. Modern believers
tend to think that they have no right to intervene in the private lives of
their fellow believers; so they pay no heed to the serious obligation of
encouraging an erring brother or sister to give up his or her sinful ways.
Others evade the issue saying, “As a sinner, I don’t have the moral courage or
the right to correct another one.” But Jesus emphatically affirms that we are
our brothers' keepers, and we have the serious obligation to correct others in
order to help our neighbors retain their Christian faith and practice,
especially through our model Christian lives. Have we offered advice and encouragement
to our friends and neighbors and coworkers when it was needed, and loving
correction in private where that was possible? Let us admit the fact that a
great degree of indifference to religion shown by our young men and women is
due to lack of parental control, training and example. If the children of
Christian families grow up as practical pagans, it is mainly because the
Christian faith has meant little or nothing to their parents. It is a well
known fact that when parents are loyal to their faith in their daily lives,
their children will, as a rule, be loyal to it.
2) Gather in
Jesus’ name and work miracles:
Today's Gospel reminds us of the good we can do together, and of how we can do
it. Jesus says, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among
them.” If any group of us will gather, work, and act with the Holy Spirit
guiding us, we become much more than simply the collective number of people we
are. Two becomes more than two, and three becomes more than three. The sum of
our individual ideas, resources and abilities becomes much more because of the
synergy that God’s presence provides. We in our faith community act together so
that we may help one another in God’s name, thereby multiplying our resources
and ability to do what God calls us to do. Today, Jesus makes it clear how
important we are, one to another. Through our links to one another in Christ,
there is a capacity in our community which enables us to use God’s power to
make healing and life-giving love more effective among His people. We come
together, we stay together, we work together—in our Lord's name, bringing to
focus the presence of God and unleashing the power of the Spirit – to transform
our lives and the lives of all God’s children. We do gather in Jesus’ name and
invoke his presence and that makes him a part of us and of what we do. That is
what we experience at each Eucharist—we in him and he in us.
Humor of the
Week
1) A pastor preached a wonderful sermon, saying we should
love our enemies. And, when he got through he asked, “Is there anybody in the
audience who can truthfully say that he or she has no enemies?” An old
gentleman got up right underneath the pulpit, and he said, “Father, I ain’t got
no enemies.” So the Pastor tells the congregation, “Let’s listen. This man has
the secret. He can teach us something. Go ahead, sir, now tell us how we do
that.” “Oh,” he said, “it ain’t hard. You see, I’ve outlived all those
rascals.”
2) Grandma’s list: There was the grandmother celebrating her
golden wedding anniversary who told the secret of her long and happy marriage.
"On my wedding day, I decided to make a list of ten of my husband’s faults
which, for the sake of the marriage, I would overlook." A guest asked the
woman what some of the faults she had chosen to overlook were. The grandmother
replied, "To tell you the truth, I never did get around to making that
list. But whenever my husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would
say to myself, "Lucky for him that’s one of the ten."
3) Or would you be more like the woman who was bitten by a
rabid dog, and it looked as if she was going to die from rabies. The doctor
told her to put her final affairs in order. So the woman took pen and paper,
and began writing furiously. In fact she wrote and wrote and wrote. Finally the
doctor said, "That sure is a long will you’re making." She snorted,
"Will, nothing! I’m making a list of all the people I’m going to
bite!"
4) One New Year’s Eve at
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Abraham Lincoln said that only he has the right to
criticize who has the heart to help.
A fellow crosses the street at the orange caution light. The traffic cop stops
him. He discovers he is a fellow Irishman. Gently he says, "Your color
like mine is green." The perp gets back on the curb. The light turns
green. The man walks across. As he passes him, the cop says with a smile,
"We don't give an Orangeman a chance around here." (Arthur Tonne)
To correct others well, when our responsibility. is an art
form in rare supply. The day of Orwell's Big Brother and equally Big Sister are
here. Who has not been bruised by authority figures? Each of us has left scars
on others. Some were inflicted on family and friends. As the psychiatrist
attests for $200 in his forty-five minute hour, the scars last. Our words
inflict wounds for life. When our temper gets the best of us, it reveals the
worst of us. It is better to bite your tongue than to have a biting tongue.
Besides, the sins of others are before our eyes. Our own are behind our back.
(Unknown)
Henry James was asked the three most important rules in the world. He replied,
"The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be
kind."
The cop has much to teach us. He was not humiliating the
pedestrian. Rather, he was emphasizing gently but firmly that he must cross on
the green and not in between. He did not make a federal case out of the
incident. He surrounded his reprimand with such good humor the guilty party
could not fault it. The cop didn't find a fault; he found a remedy.
Mind what you say or you might say whatever comes to mind. (Unknown)
The policeman subscribed to Fulton Sheen's insight,
"While it is possible to win the argument, your anger may lose the
war." His intent was not to win a battle but to win over the offender. The
cop believed that society is improved one life at a time.
Kindness is a language that the dumb can speak and the deaf
understand. Correction does much. Encouragement does much more. It is sun to
the soul. One word of praise can speak volumes. The smallest word of
encouragement today is better than the largest intention to compliment
tomorrow. Encouragement is oxygen for the soul. People who say something is
unforgivable should get out of the way of people who forgive. (Unknown)
A Persian proverb says a gentle hand may lead an elephant
with a single thread. May ours be that gentle hand.
Putting others down should be but a portion of the punishment. For the
Christian, the dressing down should be accompanied with forgiveness and, as
Ben Franklin tells us when we point a long bony finger at
someone, there are three other bony fingers pointing at ourselves. Besides,
love your enemies, for only they will tell you your faults.
Cold words freeze people. Hot words scorch them. Angry words make them angry.
Kind words comfort them. (Blaise Pascal)
I once heard a young speaker tell about an incident that
happened after two months of marriage. It was Saturday afternoon. He told his
wife that he was going to pop into the Church for confession. Before he left,
she said, “Wait a minute,” and starting writing a few things down. He assumed
she wanted him to stop by the grocery story. She kept writing and writing.
Finally, he said, “Dear, I’ve got to go, they stop hearing confessions at
3:45.”
“Just a minute,” she said, and she added a few more things and gave him the
list.When he got in the car he glanced at it and found that instead of
groceries she gave him a list of suggestions for confession. The worst part was
that she was right on all of them.
Or perhaps you remember the conclusion of the old movie, Moonstruck. When the
mother confronts the father with his sins, she tells him, “You have a good life
here. Don’t destroy it.”
After a brief moment of male bravado, he says, “OK”.
Then she says, “And another thing, you’re going to confession.”
A couple of years later Pope Pius XI had suffered two heart
attacks and was extremely weak. Knowing that war in
He died in the trenches - not a comfortable place, but he not run away. He died
fighting. He may have preferred doing research in a library, but - in the end -
that was not the post God called him to. What an inspiration - especially when
the devil tempts us to avoid a disagreeable task. Now, I am not saying that a
person cannot retire from a job, but none of us can retire from the task of
being a watchman. Before all else, we have to be vigilant for our own souls.
And we also have some responsibility for others. We don't have responsibility
for the whole world - as the pope does. But we bear a certain responsibility
for the salvation of those near us - in our own families, our own circle of
friends.
Handling Life’s Hurts
What do we do when others get grumpy with us, or speak
harsh words towards us, or even start fights with us? How do we react when
someone insults us or is downright nasty to us?
If the deed is unlawful, we put the offender in jail. An awful story made the
news some time ago. A man took a hot rack out of the oven and laid it across
his child's bare back. The burn marks left permanent scars, streaks across his
back. That man went to prison.
One lady tells of being locked in the closet, for years, while a child, and
only taken out of the dark closet to be abused. Those are serious hurts. Child
abuse is against the law. We punish the offenders.