Thinkers who tend to withdraw and observe
People of this personality type essentially fear that they don't have enough inner strength to face life, so they tend to withdraw, to retreat into the safety and security of the mind where they can mentally prepare for their emergence into the world. Fives feel comfortable and at home in the realm of thought. They are generally intelligent, well read and thoughtful and they frequently become experts in the areas that capture their interest. While they are sometimes scientifically oriented, especially with the Six wing, just as many Fives are drawn to the humanities and it is not at all uncommon for Fives to have artistic inclinations. Fives are often a bit eccentric; they feel little need to alter their beliefs to accommodate majority opinion, and they refuse to compromise their freedom to think just as they please. The problem for Fives is that while they are comfortable in the realm of thought, they are frequently a good deal less comfortable when it comes to dealing with their emotions, the demands of a relationship, or the need to find a place for themselves in the world. Fives tend to be shy, non-intrusive, independent and reluctant to ask for the help that others might well be happy to extend to them.
Fives are sensitive; they don't feel adequately defended against the world. To compensate for their sensitivity, Fives sometimes adopt an attitude of careless indifference or intellectual arrogance, which has the unfortunate consequence of creating distance between themselves and others. Trying to bridge the distance can be difficult for Fives, as they are seldom comfortable with their social skills, but when they do manage it, they are often devoted friends and life long companions.
Fives are usually somewhat restrained when it comes to emotional expression, but they often have stronger feelings than they let on. Few people know what is going on beneath the surface, as Fives have an often exaggerated need for privacy and a deep seated fear of intrusion. Because of their sensitivity and their fears of inadequacy, Fives fear being overwhelmed, either by the demands of others or by the strength of their own emotions. They sometimes deal with this by developing a minimalistic lifestyle in which they make few demands on others in exchange for few demands being made on them. Other Fives make their peace with the messiness of life and engage it more fully, but they almost always retain their fears that life is somehow going to demand more of them than they can deliver.
Fives, especially with the Four wing, sometimes mistype themselves as Fours. Such Fives recognize that they have strong emotions and don't identify with the often extremely cerebral portrait of type Five. But, Fives, unlike Fours, always retain some degree of discomfort when it comes to the expression of their emotional states. However much facility they may gain with it, the language of emotion is not their native tongue.
At their best: Analytical,
persevering, wise, self-contained, objective, visionary pioneers, ahead of
their time, they are able to see the world in an entirely new way.
At their worst: Intellectually
arrogant, stingy, stubborn, distant, critical, unassertive, they tend to live
in the world of ideas and concepts, forgetting that interaction and experience
are necessary for real understanding.
What do I think of myself?
1. I'm often an observer rather than a participant. 2. I don't like sharing my feelings. 3. I need a
lot of time to myself. 4. Giving comes
hard to me. I prefer to accept, take and receive. 5. I tend to hoard what I
know, because knowledge is precious. 6.
I'm stingy with my time, and frugal with money.
7. I'm good at getting a detached
overview of complex problems. 8. My
motto for problem solving is to "think things through." 9. I work best on my own. 10. Deep down, I'm scared of being
empty. 11. I don't like to shout. It
annoys me when I'm told to speak up. 12.
I find it difficult to ask people to help me.
13. I dislike being short‑changed
in anything. I like value for money.
14. I'm not the pushy type.
15. I question everything to find out
how things operate. 16. I rarely
"sugar the pill"; I sometimes lack tact. 17. I give the appearance of being cool,
detached and above it all. 18. I mutter
words like "useless," "ignorant," "stupid," "fool"
when upset. 19. I'm happy to let others
start the ball rolling. 20. I'm sometimes like a scavenger, picking up
things which just might come in useful.
21. I find small talk difficult and can clam up in company. 22.
The grand design is more important to me than the concrete details. 23. I tend to think issues through before
discussing them. 24. I don't speak as much as others, so my views
have to be asked for. 25. I'm nonplussed
when asked to express my feelings.
What do I miss because of My distorted style?
1) The delights of being a
feeling (bodily) person; the deep satisfaction of intimate, mutual personal
relationships. A good deal of fun and excitement because you are keeping
yourself on the sidelines. 2) The
meaning that comes from becoming involved and engaged with life. 3) The experience of being a part of (as
against apart from) humanity; feeling connected, belonging. 4) The experience of trust and co-operation
by trying to do everything yourself. 5)
The energy and aliveness and power of your own emotions (emotions are not
necessarily your enemies). 6)
Self-confidence; the joy and fulfilment of giving.
FIVES with a more
developed FOUR wing tend to be more
creative, humanistic, sensitive, empathic, and self-absorbed. FIVES with a more
developed SIX wing tend to be more loyal, anxious,
sceptical, and cautious. They are more likely to be interested in the sciences.
FIVES with FOURS
Traits conflict: Social Insecurity
-cerebral -internalise
to intensify feelings
-intellectual -artistic
-withdraws to protect
security -withdraws
to protect feelings
Balancing}-out of touch
with feelings -------------> -aware
of personal feelings
Points: } -objective, logical
------------------------> -sensitivity
to feelings of others
-shares little -------------------------------> -willingness to enter into lives of others
-knowledge, insight ----------------------> -intuition & sensitivity
FIVES with SIXES
Traits reinforce: Over-cautiousness
-fear of looking foolish -fear of fear
Balancing}-non-involvement
----------------------> -duty
moves to action
Points:
} -"knowledge" over people
-------------> -nurturing
others
-fear of commitment --------------------> -loyalty
When
FIVES
move toward the positive side of EIGHT, they:
-get in touch
with their body, its power, and its energy by moving away from pure thought and
toward action
-trust their
instincts more; become more outspoken and spontaneous
-become more
assertive, doing whatever it takes to win when they have a justifiable cause to
uphold
-become energised
and motivated by their anger instead of withdrawing
-defend themselves
more effectively; set clear limits
When
FIVES
move toward the negative side of EIGHT, they become
punitive, act unreasonably and ignore other people's feelings and desires
blatantly instead of secretly.
When FIVES move toward the negative side SEVEN, they take on
new projects impulsively and become scattered and distracted.
When FIVES move toward the positive side of SEVEN, they experience
life more broadly, become less self-conscious and more fun loving and
uninhibited.
1) Become
involved and committed. You need to become active and "doers",
not just observers or theoreticians. Allow yourself to be transparent; come out
in the open as against trying to be invisible; let yourself be known and seen.
2) Share
more of yourself. You need to risk
self-disclosure and share more in terms of time, knowledge and resources. Apply
your knowledge against keeping it in your head. Challenge your addiction to
isolation and privacy. Own your relational powers: move towards; say what you
want or don't want; ask for what you need. Protect, enlarge and enrich others
as against defend yourself or hold back from others.
3) Recognise
that emotions, too, give insight. Empathise as
well as analyse; listen with your heart as your head; trust your intuitions,
feelings and perceptions. Get in touch with your anger and hurt, and let them
energise and express your real self.
4) Trust
others and cooperate more. This will help
open you up emotionally and allow you to experience companionship.
5) Avoid
jumping into conclusions. You should learn to consult others. Come to each
person and situation empty, without preconceptions and categories; be open to
what is there and trust your spontaneous response
1. I now release all fearfulness
of the world around me.
2. I NOW RELEASE all feelings of powerlessness
and hopelessness.
3. I NOW RELEASE my fear of being violated or
overwhelmed by others.
4. I NOW RELEASE my dark and destructive
fantasies.
5. I NOW RELEASE isolating myself by rejecting
others.
6. I NOW RELEASE believing that no one can be
depended on.
7. I NOW RELEASE desiring to antagonise others
and ruin their peace of mind.
8. I NOW RELEASE being cynical and contemptuous
of the normalcy of others.
9. I NOW RELEASE fearing that others will
exploit me.
10. I NOW RELEASE feeling that I am a misfit in
life.
11. I NOW RELEASE being secretive and hiding from
people.
12. I NOW RELEASE postponing my emotional needs.
13. I NOW RELEASE neglecting my physical health
and appearance.
14. I NOW RELEASE the agitation and restlessness
of my mind.
15. I NOW RELEASE feeling that I always need to
know more before I do anything.
16. I NOW RELEASE avoiding my life by escaping
into my mind.
17. I now affirm that I am secure
and grounded in the reality of my own life.
18. I NOW AFFIRM the strength and wonder of my
body.
19. I NOW AFFIRM the value of my inventiveness
and sense of humour.
20. I NOW AFFIRM that I accept uncertainty and ambiguity.
21. I NOW AFFIRM that my life and struggles are
meaningful and rewarding.
22. I NOW AFFIRM that I have faith in the future
and in human beings.
23. I NOW AFFIRM that I reach out to others
confidently as an equal.
24. I NOW AFFIRM that I find serenity in being
compassionate toward others.
25. I NOW AFFIRM that I support others from the
fullness of my heart.
A) Lord God, I have realised
that I find it difficult to get involved. I know now how I both long for and
yet feel threatened by intimacy. As I
don’t look for attention, I also don’t allow others
the opportunity to make demands on me. You have invited me now, Lord, to learn
to trust other people and to let go my insulated life to let in others into my
space and life. Lord,
have mercy.
B) Lord God, I thank you for
giving me an enquiring mind and the gift of discernment. Help me to reach out
more to people, and to trust the wisdom that comes from the heart. Give me the
generosity to share my insights with those I meet, and the courage to involve
myself in their daily cares and concerns. Amen.
1.
You want to understand the environment, but your understanding becomes
distorted if you impose preconceptions on reality rather than observe it. Therefore, analyse less and observe
more. Use your gift for observation
rather than occupying your mind with fantastic theories and endless
speculations.
2.
You tend to be extremely intense and so high-strung that you find it difficult
to relax and unwind. Make an effort to
learn to calm down in a healthy way, without addictive and stimulating
substances and activities. Exercising or
using biofeedback techniques will help channel some of your tremendous nervous
energy. Meditation, jogging, yoga, and
dancing are especially helpful for your type.
3.
You see many possibilities but often do not know how to choose among them or
judge which is more or less important.
Even in average Fives, a sense of perspective is missing, and with it
the ability to make accurate
judgements. Taking the advice of
someone whose judgement you can trust will probably be difficult for you but well worth doing since it will not only
guide your own judgements but help you trust someone else, also a difficulty
for your type.
4. Do not jump to conclusions. Some Fives tend to form opinions based
on relatively little evidence. Or, as new information comes in, they do not
modify their conclusions to account for it, and their ideas remain biased by
the evidence they first accepted. Beware
of this tendency since it creates problems in many different situations, not
the least of which is in your relationships. Or, to put this recommendation another way --
keep an open mind and try your best to give people a second chance, especially
as you get more information about them.
5.
Fives tend to find it difficult to trust people, to open up to them
emotionally, or to make themselves accessible in various ways. Their awareness
of potential problems in relationships may tend to create a self-fulfilling
prophecy. It is important to remember that having conflicts with others is not
unusual and that the healthy thing is to work them out rather than reject
attachments with people by withdrawing into isolation. Having one or two intimate friends whom you
trust enough to have conflicts with will enrich your life greatly.
6.
Try to be more co-operative with others and less a loner. Although it goes against the grain, it will
be instructive for you to learn to be supportive and nurturing to people. And, where possible, yield to others
graciously without feeling that you have been beaten intellectually or have
been put into a vulnerable position.
7.
Some Fives tend to make others feel ill at ease. Because they are so intensely involved in
what interests them and find their ideas so fascinating, they tend to forget
the social niceties that help others be comfortable with them. If this applies to you, remember that your
very brilliance may be intimidating to many (indeed, it is probably something
you are proud of and use to distance yourself from people). Rather than being encouraged to share your
interests, others can be put off
unnecessarily.
8. You tend to look down on those who you think
are less intelligent than you. However, even if other people are not as
intelligent, this does not automatically
mean that they are stupid or their ideas worthless. Try to be more
accepting of their intellectual limitations
without being cynical or harsh in your judgements. Also
remember that there are different kinds of intelligence and that even
if your intellectual gifts are superior to those of others, it does not give
you the right to be condescending or abrasive to anyone else. Use your gifts for others, not against them.
9. If others begin to avoid you or react to you
antagonistically, consider the possibility that you -- rather than they - have
begun the antagonisms. Examine yourself
to discover what you may have contributed to your interpersonal conflicts.
10.
You have an enormous capacity for understanding. Think of ways to develop your compassion for
others, to understand what they are going through from their point of
view. By using your insight into people
with compassion and caring, your own more gentle feelings will emerge to soften
your hard edges. You will become more
trusting, relaxed, and happier if you identify with other people rather than
standing back and observing them analytically.
Do not use only your head--use more of your heart: it will make you a
more rounded person.
Biblical
references for Number FIVE
A) Sinfulness to pray through
1. FIVES suffer from a deep inner emptiness. Is 55: 1-3.
Invitation to come to God to have the thirst of life quenched.
2. FIVES can remain on the outskirts of
human life and are uninvolved. Lk
10:29-37. Parable of the Good Samaritan.
3. FIVES find any kind of active participation
difficult. Is 52:7. How beautiful are the feet of those who bring
good news.
4. FIVES hoard their wisdom. Jn 21: 15-17. if you love me, feed my lambs,
sheep.
5. FIVES find it hard to articulate their
insights, to concretise them. Jr 1:4-10. Do not be afraid. I am
putting my words in your mouth.
6. FIVES can miss concrete details. Jn 21:1-14.
Be aware of the level of awareness evident in so many areas in the
passage.
7. FIVES never finish their preparation and
never feel ready to come to closure.
This keeps them out of active engagement in life. 11 Th 3:6-15. Work so as not to be a burden.
8. FIVES have no time boundaries and can be
forever getting ready to work. Jn
9:4-5. There is an urgency about Jesus
to work while He has time.
9. FIVES can become totally immersed
in projects and miss other aspects of life.
Mt 9:36-37. Witness Jesus'
compassion for human need and his prayer that his apostles would respond to
need.
10. FIVES question everything. Is 55:7-9.
God's ways are not our ways. Live
with mystery.
11. FIVES are critical. Jn 8:15-20.
Danger of judging by human standards.
12. FIVES are over-objective and can forget people's
feelings. Rm 14:17-21. God's work can be wrecked by being too
objective.
13. FIVES lack tact. Truth is raw-boned. Ga 6:1-5.
Set others right in a spirit of gentleness.
14. FIVES don't relate on the level of
feelings. Jn 11:32-34. See Jesus deeply moved in a personal relationship.
15. FIVES can be distant, aloof and detached. I P 3:8-12.
Rules for anyone who wants happiness.
16. FIVES are over observant. Lk 19:1-10.
Jesus invites Zacchaeus to do more than look at him.
17. FIVES are cool. Ps 112.
Prayer of the virtuous person who is involved in life.
18. FIVES lack an ability to make others comfortable
with them. I P 4:7-1 1. Put yourselves
at the service of others.
19. FIVES are stingy. I Tm 6:17-19.
Be generous and willing to share.
20. FIVES compartmentalise.
21. FIVES can show contempt. Jn 4. See the attitude of Jesus with the
Samaritan woman.
22. FIVES are under loyal. Mt 9:27-31.
Blind men disregard the stern warning of Jesus without regard to what
that might mean for him.
23. FIVES are undercommitted. Mt 25: 31-46. Judgement is based on service to the neighbour.
24. FIVES resent being pushed. Gn 22: 1-19. Pray the blessings of Abraham's
generosity.
25. FIVES are loners. Gn 2:18-24.
It is not good for man to be alone, or woman either.
26. FIVES are easily embarrassed and ill at ease
with others.
27. FIVES have a hard time asking for what they
need. Mt 7:7-1 1. Ask and it will be
given. At least begin to ask God.
28. FIVES are hoarders and miserly. Lk 21:1-4. Widow's mite. She gave all she had to live on.
29. FIVES hang on to the past. Ez 36:25-29.
God's forgiveness and the creation of a new heart.
30. FIVES are extremely protective Of
themselves. Jn 12: 24-28. Unless the grain of wheat falls to the ground
and dies.
31. FIVES procrastinate until they know exactly
what to do. Qo 11:1-6. Cast your bread upon the waters.
32. FIVES are takers. Ac 20:35.
There is more happiness in giving than in receiving.
B) Giftedness to be rejoiced in
and prayed through
1. FIVES are open-minded.
2. FIVES are receptive to new facts. Ep 4:21-24.
The spiritual revolution.
3. FIVES are curious. Jn 3:1-21.
Conversation of Jesus with Nicodemus.
4. FIVES are objective. Ac 15:7-12. Peter's understanding of God's ways of viewing life.
5. FIVES love to learn. Ps 119:33-4.
A prayer to know God's ways.
6. FIVES are original thinkers. I Cor 1:17-31. True and false wisdom.
7. FIVES are provocative. Jr 16:1-13.
Quality and style of Jeremiah's life is provocative.
8. FIVES are deep. Rm 11:33-36.
Depths of God's wisdom and knowledge.
9. FIVES can move others to new ways of
thinking. Ac 22: 1-21. Bearing witness by Paul to his new ways of
believing and the gift of his conversion.
10. FIVES are
wise. Si 51:13-22. Poem on the quest for wisdom.
11. FIVES have an
inner power and strength. Ep
3:14-21. Prayer to grasp God's love more
deeply.
12. FIVES are
patient. Jm 5:7-1 1. Be patient as the
farmer.
13. FIVES are
comfortable with process. Mk
4:26-29. Seed growing by itself.
14. FIVES are
sympathetic. Ph 2:1-5. Have tenderness and sympathy.
15. FIVES sense
patterns and see the broad picture. Jn
9:1-41. Cure of the man born blind. Jesus sees the perspective that is missed by
the Jews.
16. FIVES are
gentle and non-threatening. Is
49:15-16. The gentle, motherly love of
God.
17. FIVES have
clarity of vision. Ep 4:14-16. Don't be
carried along by every wind of doctrine.
18. FIVES are
thorough. 2 Tm 4: 1-5. Solemn charge to
Timothy to be thorough in his service of the word.
19. FIVES are
organisers. Pr 16:1-33. God's guidance in
human planning.
20. FIVES are
excellent listeners. Qo 5:1-6. Don't be in a hurry to speak.
21. FIVES have a
gift of discernment that comes from seeing through things. I Jn 4:1-3.
Test the spirits.
Reflection
& Meditation For Number FIVE
Awareness
Deep down I'm greedy and
avaricious, not so much for material things as for the knowledge that will give
my life meaning. That's my brokenness. I find it hard to admit this, even to
myself, and I have the skills to cover it up so that nobody knows. But the
truth is that I'm so afraid of feeling empty inside that I continually long for
fulfillment. I dread the idea of meaninglessness and my continual quest for
knowledge is simply my way of dealing with this.
Sometimes I experience such
great loneliness that the only way I can feel safe is to shut myself away, most
frequently by living inside my head. I appear confident and self‑assured
on the surface, but deep down I experience a great deal of insecurity. I
attempt to fill the void by my passion for collecting and hoarding. I don't
like intrusions and am very protective of my own space.
I generally try to remain
calm and keep my emotions under control. When I'm angry, upset, fearful or
emotional, I try not to show it. But I do feel things deeply. It's just that I
tend to analyze my feelings rather than immediately experience them. I find it
hard to express my emotions or put them into words. It's much easier for me to
show warmth towards friends who are absent rather than those who are present.
Advice
Our spiritual journey is
from the internal to the external. It involves taking the incarnation
seriously. It means accepting that knowledge comes through the heart and the
senses as well as through the head. The fact is that God became flesh, not
newsprint, and there's no escaping the implications of that. Unfortunately,
there is a painful split within us between theory and practice, between
contemplation and action. We must be bold enough to risk involvement, and
inventive enough to give practical expression to our insights and reflections.
Then we will not give in to disengagement and others will be able to share in
the wisdom we have to offer.
Attention
Since we tend to over‑emphasize
the mind and are open to a wide variety of prayer options, it is important for
us to anchor our thoughts and get in touch with our heart. We can often best do
this by concentrating on some symbol ‑ a lighted candle, a cake of bread,
a mantra, etc.‑which will help us center our thoughts and not allow them
to jump about in a free‑fall meditation. Our body is very important in
prayer, so posture, breathing, clothing, warmth, and so on are particularly
relevant. All of these can keep us open to the promptings of the real world
when we place ourselves in God's presence. In this way there will always be an
active element in our contemplation.
Scripture Meditation For Number FIVE
1) John 9:39‑41 (Those with sight can be
blind to the truth)
There is a difference
between knowledge and wisdom, between sight and insight. What we think we know
can blind us to other possibilities and prevent us from learning from the poor
and needy who stand in front of our eyes.
2) Luke 10:29‑37 (The Good Samaritan)
It is very easy to theorize
and generalize about what needs to be done to provide a solution to people's
problems. Noninvolvement is a form of opting out, of passing by "on the
other side." Jesus demands that we give flesh to our beliefs and discover
the truths that only touching the wounds can bring.
3) Luke 6:38 (We receive in the measure that we
give)
Our unwillingness to risk
sharing what we have with a generous heart frequently prevents us from
receiving more ourselves. If we hoard what we have and are stingy with our
gifts, we are unlikely to be open enough to receive the unexpected.
4) John 11:32‑44 (Jesus is moved to tears)
We don't really trust our
feelings. We find it hard to express emotion, to show how deeply we care for
others. This gospel story shows how Jesus expresses his love unashamedly and
does something constructive about it.
5) Luke 11:9‑13 (Ask and you will
receive)
It is difficult for us to
ask for help to meet our needs or fill the empty place within our hearts. We
much prefer to go it alone and make do. But God is the generous giver, whose
compassionate presence brings love and meaning into our lives.