Enneagram: SIX
I) IN GENERAL
If you are a SIX, you are gifted in many ways.
In particular, you are:
◙ Loyal ◙ Dutiful ◙ Hospitable
◙ Caring ◙ Idealistic ◙ Prudent
◙ Respectful ◙ Trustworthy ◙ Courageous
However, like
everyone else, you have your flaws. For example, you can be:
S Fearful S Timid S Suspicious
S Indecisive S Defensive S Anxious
S Authoritarian S Aggressive S Paranoid
As a Supporter you strive so hard to belong
that you become fearful of not honoring your commitments. But you are so
oblivious to your fear that you deny
how controlling and destructive it is.
II)
SUBTYPES
You need
constant reassurance that you are loved, and feel safest when you experience
warmth and affection from friends and colleagues. You show love to get love. It
pays off to be loyal to friends because then there is a good chance they will
remain loyal in return‑"one for all, and all for one." If there
is a falling out, you make every effort to mend fences, even though you may
still be annoyed or angry.
Safe havens and
security zones are vital to feeling protected. Belonging is crucial to you,
since "no man is an island." Any coolness, aloofness, or lack of
communication makes you worry and doubt. You then parse and analyze to see what
you might have done wrong. Your survival strategy is to redouble your efforts
at friendship so as to disarm any threat to your safety.
B. Sexual: Focus of Strength
/ Beauty
Your doubting
nature makes it hard for you to accept that others are sincere or friendly,
even though you long for this. You are devastated by the prospect of betrayal
and dislike the feelings of helplessness and dependence that accompany your
reliance on others. You feel secure when you know others really care for you.
To conceal your
fear, you put on a show of strength by trying to impress others with your tough
logic and intimidating knowledge. Failing that, you may use sarcastic remarks
or barbed wit to get others to back off. You may seek to strengthen your
physique by working out, believing that by staying in shape you will be able to
defend yourself better if need be. You also cultivate beauty, and feel secure
when you are sexually attractive or seductively made up.
You feel safe
as part of a team and do not trust one‑man band operations. Worried about
taking on extra responsibilities, you feel anxious when offered a promotion.
Since you fear criticism or embarrassment, you prefer to be in supporting roles
than in the limelight.
You are
reassured when you receive approval from team leaders. This minimizes your self‑doubt.
You also like to know where you stand and what is expected of you, otherwise
you feel insecure and out on a limb. You are a conscientious rule‑keeper
and regularly refer things to authority figures, including those whose voices
you carry around in your head. You give one hundred percent commitment to
church, social, charity, or self‑help groups, and to deserving causes for
the underprivileged.
III) WINGS 5 & 7
As you grew up
you began to realize that your general fearfulness, your compliance and
indecisiveness (phobic Six), or your aggression and risk‑taking
(counter-phobic Six) were a turn‑off. After all, most people prefer those
who rely on their own inner authority and neither give it away nor hide their
insecurities under a mask of appearing tough. So you began to rely on the
personality style nearest to you to give your own style some balance. You may,
for example, have spotted that indecision
is among the list of your characteristic flaws. But decisiveness is one of the strengths of your Five Wing. When you
learn to incorporate your wing‑strength into your own personality style,
you begin to soar.
Five Wing: When you access the strengths of your Five Wing you have a head
combination. The Five influence allows you to become more observant,
contemplative, and private. You may also become more objective. Additionally,
it can help you mitigate your workaholic tendencies by emphasizing both your
perceptiveness and detachment. There is a danger, though, that you may become
even more security‑conscious, more skeptical, and more fearful of getting
in touch with your feelings.
Seven Wing: When you access the strengths of your Seven Wing you have another head
combination, and this will help you in a different way. With it your natural
fearfulness and inflexibility in thinking and acting will be balanced by
spontaneity and an innovative spirit. This will allow you to network better and
become more hospitable, fun‑loving, convivial, and sociable‑all
without worrying about neglecting your duties! You will, however, need to be
careful lest you run even faster from your fears or take yourself less
seriously.
Proper balance
is achieved by accessing the strengths of both
your wings and taking care to avoid their characteristic weaknesses. When
you do so, you learn to let go of your compulsive Supporter viewpoint and begin
to experience the advantages of other points of view.
The Arrow
Theory of the Enneagram can be very helpful when you are feeling either
stressed or secure.
As a Supporter
you are motivated by your need for security and fear of making mistakes. You
are stressed when uncertain, when in leadership roles, and when you see the
rules being broken.
Almost as soon
as the pressure begins to build up, you gradually tend to slide to the lower
end of your own personality style. When this happens your natural tendency is
to become even more anxious than usual and to mistrust the adequacy of your
inner resources. As your self‑doubts increase you may become more wary,
suspicious, and closed to other points of view. This may also bring out your
rebellious streak.
As your stress
increases you find yourself all too easily adopting the negative characteristics of your Three-stress point. However, this
need not be an inevitable progression. You can, instead, get in touch with the positive side.
Three: (Stress
Point)
-
You use
work to blot out feelings of anxiety.
-
You find
security in a role, uniform, or profession.
-
You accept
that the end justifies the means.
-
You're unwilling
to attempt the new for fear of failure.
+ You focus on what's possible
and take the initiative.
+ You disarm doubts with positive
decision-making.
When you are secure you are generally more in touch with the higher side of your personality style. As a Six this allows you to take charge of your choices and begin to trust your own inner authority. In effect it means that you become more independent and self‑reliant. When this happens, you find that you become less riddled with doubts and far more proactive in dealing with problems. As your confidence increases, you are prepared to believe the best about people and not project deviance on to them. You also become creative when it comes to rules and regulations, recognizing that the spirit is more important than the letter of the law.
All of this
feeds into the positive strengths of
your Nine security point. But, here too there can be some negative. Dealing with the pluses and minuses helps us grow.
Nine: (Secnrity
Point)
+ You feel no need to be a
permanent watchdog.
+ You relax into a noncompetitive
mode.
+ You become more supportive,
warm, and empathetic.
+ You gain a broader perspective
through sitting back.
-
You become
listless, uninterested, and inactive.
-
You deal
with worries by anesthetizing them.
1)
Toot your
own horn!
2)
Since I am
loved, there's no reason to fear.
3)
Light a
candle rather than curse the darkness.
4)
My
authority comes from within.
5)
I have the
courage of my own convictions.
6)
I am with
you, always. (Matthew 28:20)
The most striking feature of this sixth portrait of Jesus is his faithful love which remains constant and steadfast in spite of our unfaithfulness to him. He devotes himself tirelessly to establishing and maintaining our relationship with him and is willing to sacrifice all, even life itself to do this. Jesus shows fearless courage in pursuing this goal and in fostering faith in his Father's providence which is the source of his courage. He is clear and decisive about what is involved in living his life in the light of this loving providence and so he seeks to establish and maintain warm relationships not only with his close friends but nth those whom his own people reject as sinners and outcasts.
We experience
the love that characterises this portrait in people who are faithful,
constant and steadfast in their relationships with us. Their fidelity emerges
especially when we are disloyal or neglect our relationships with them. Our infidelity
and neglect only seem to highlight the extent and depth of their devotion to
establishing and maintaining their relationship with us. The intensity of this
devotion leads them to sacrifice themselves to preserve this relationship. The
extent, depth and intensity of this devotion to others calls for courage if
they are to be true to themselves and to those whom they have committed
themselves to.
The very obvious courage we notice in these people is inspired by their deep conviction that the world is in the hands of a loving providence. This providence has a plan for them, a dream which is implanted in their hearts. They have an inner clarity about how important this dream is and a decisiveness about the practical steps they need to take to realise it. A large part of the realisation of their dream has to do with the cultivation of relationships and there is a warmth about the way they conduct these. Once they have established these warm relationships with the people who are central to their lives they have a deep desire to include all, especially those who live on the margins of society, into the warmth of their way of relating.
A) Faithful
love is constant, loyal, warm
and devoted even when it meets with infidelity.
Devotion to our relationships is where the extent and
depth of our fidelity is seen.
Self‑sacrifice which involves devoting our time, energies and our resources to others, demonstrates the intensity of devotion.
Courage is the virtue needed to maintain the extent,
depth and intensity of devotion. This courage has its source in what we believe
about the world around us.
C) The courage to maintain our relationships
needs faith
Holy
Faith adopts a vision
of the world as pervaded by a loving providence which is faithful to us despite
our deviance. This vision challenges us to be,
Clear
and decisive about the
implications of what we believe.
D) Extending to all the warmth of the relationships which faith inspires.
Warmth in the way we relate in our closest
relationships. This warmth is often displayed through playful banter or
teasing.
All are included in this circle of warmth especially those who live on the margins of society.